Dale Jarrett quits, realizing Ford and Quality are a contradiction of terms.

Next season Dale Earnhardt is going to drive in the truck series next year?
The bed is already included.

 Following Earnhardts recovery from his little health mishap, Mrs. T. Earnhardt didn't want to make love for fear of injuring him.  Dale called the doctor and asked if he would mind sending Teresa a note indicating it was safe to resume sex.
Wanting to be helpful, the doctor agreed and said "How do you want me to address this note ?"
Thinking REAL fast, Dale replied, "To Whom it May Concern:"

Jeff Gordon, Ricky Rudd and Dick Trickle are convicted of  crimes, and they're all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement. They're each allowed one thing to bring into the  cell with them. The Gordon asks for a big stack of books. Rudd asks for his wife. And Trickle asks for two hundred cartons of cigarettes. At the end of the twenty years, they open up Gordon's cell. He comes out and says, "I studied so hard. I'm so bright now, I could be a Doctor. It was terrific." They open up Rudd's cell. He comes out with his wife, and they've got five new kids. He says. "It was the greatest thing of my life. My wife and I have never been so close. I have a beautiful new family. I love it." They open up Trickle's cell, and he's slapping at his pockets, going "Anybody got a match?"

Marlin walks into the shop and both of his ears are all bandaged up. His crew member asks, "What happened to your ears?" Marlin explains, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I answered the Iron." The crew member asks, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?" Marlin says, "Well,  , I had to call the doctor."

Angered at what he felt was a bad call, a racer yelled at the official, "You stink to high heaven."  The official picked up a radio mic, and said that's a two lap penalty, "Can you still smell me ?"

Gordon, Earnhardt, Jarrett and Rusty  were all in a spelling bee.   Rusty won -- he was the only one who knew  that "harass" is one word.

Don't touch me I'm not that kind of car.

What do you get when you cross Bill France with Count Dracula? - autoexec.bat

Overheard at Jiffylube 300~~ Can Mark Martin pick up any points on Jeff today ?
No,,But Jeff sure could pick up a few pointers from Mark (Thanks Pete!!)

What is the difference between Jeff Gordons car and a porcupine?
On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside! (It is a Joke! I am a Gordon fan!)

Three drivers flew to the race in Dover. The plane crashed, all three died.
All three noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God wanted to know three things:
Who are you? What did you do? and What did people think of you?
The first person, Dale Jarrett, said. I was the top 5 in the points championship. I won several races and many Ford Fans think I am great.  God said, #88, stand to my right.
The next person, Mark Martin said,  "I was also in the top 5 in points also.  I am very consistent and respectable. Many of the NASCAR fans think I am great".  God said, #6 stand on my left side.
The third person stood before God and said, I am Jeff Gordon. I have won the 2 cup championships, I won 10 races this season, the WINSTON Million, I am the youngest driver to accomplish so much so fast and many people think you are sitting in my chair.