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Page 2 of 3 More Nascar Jokes ... The world's biggest NASCAR fan died and went to heaven. When he arrived he found himself the best seat at the most fabulous track he'd ever seen. There he saw Alan Kulwicki and Davey Allison racin'
side by side in 1&2. Down in 3&4 he saw Tim Richmond and Neil Bonnett doin' the same, when all of the sudden the rainbow colored #24 streaked by. 'OH NO!' exclaimed the man, when did this happen?
St. Peter replied, 'don't worry, that's God, he just likes to think he's Jeff Gordon!'
Then the yellow #23 Camel Ford came flying by and tapped the left rear quarter panel of God's car spinning him out in a cloud of smoke. "What was that!!!" exclaimed the man... "Oh", said St. Peter, "that was the Devil... he likes to think he's Jimmy Spencer..." A man walks into a bar with his dog. A Winston Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt is doing. The bartender says "Earnhardts is in 25th". The dog jumps up, and runs around
the barstool 25 times. A couple of laps later, the bartender says "Earnhardt is up to 10th". The dog jumps up again and runs around the barstool 10 times. A few laps later, the bartender says "Earnhardt is up to 3rd",
after which the dog again jumps up and runs around the barstool 3 times The bartender says "WOW!! That dog is amazing!! What does he do if Earnhardt wins?" "I don't know", says the man, "I've only had him a year and a half!" "Die" hard fan....
It's the Super Bowl of Motorsports, I go to my seat, Way up top of the Winston Tower.
There is a lone gentleman sitting one seat away with and empy seat in between. The race is well underway, and I comment to the gentlemen in regards to this empy seat, "imagine
missing a Race like this, and how much they may have paid for that unused ticket". He
explained that was his wife of 30 years seat, and that she had passed away. I, of coarse, felt
terrible, gave my condolences and asked him why he did not give it to a friend or family
member, he said "There all at her funeral" Why did NASCAR outlaw the Polish victory lap....
Because it was interfering with Bill Elliott's finishing of the race! Rusty returns from a trip with the guys.
The little lady asks, "How was the fishing?"
Rusty replies, "Great. By the way, you forgot to pack my shaving cream and my deodorant."
The little lady retorts "No, I didn't. They were in your tackle box." A little boy ran away from home and a cop saw him and said "Hey little boy, what are you doing?" The little boy replied "I'm running away from home." The cop asked him "Why are you doing that?" The little boy replied "Because my dad beats me." The cops says "Oh, well get in the car and I will take you to your mother's." And the little boy says "No, no! She beats me too!" The cop says "Do you have an uncle?" "Yes but he beats me too", replied the little boy. And the cop says "Get in the car and I'll take you to your grandmother's then." The little boy says "No, no, no! My grandmother beats me also." The cop says "Well little boy, is there anywhere I can take you where nobody will beat you?" And the little boys says "Take me to live with Dale Earnhardt because he can't beat anybody." Did you hear that WalMart is being sued? Seems a lady tried on an Ernie Irvan tee shirt. She hit the wall three times before she could get out of the dressing room!! Dale Earnhardt walks up to a PEPSI machine in a casino while at a race in Las Vegas, he puts in a few coins, and out pops a Coke. He puts some more coins into the machine, and another can of soda pops out. He keeps putting in coins, and cans of soda keep coming out. Dale Jarrett walks up behind him and says, "Can I please use the machine?" Dale says, "No way! Can't you see I'm winning?" Friend of mine bought a used car with a Earnhardt bumper sticker on it. Being a Gordon Fan, he scraped it off and put a Dupont sticker on. Ya know, the car ran and passed better within a few minutes. You might remember, during speedweeks, it was reported that Bill Elliott had found 12 extra horsepower and was running quite well. Ernie Elliott had done extensive work to the intake manifold to gain the power. When the reporters asked him "What did you find in the manifold?", he replied, "A black grease rag with a number 24 on it!"
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