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Page 9 of 19 More of your Chuck Norris Jokes.... 101. God may be the alpha and omega, but he's no Chuck Norris. ---submitted by RAW 102. There is only 1 true wonder of the world, and thats why CN has allowed pz and len to live this long. ---submitted by RAW 103. We have super heros, and super heros have Chuck Norris. ---submitted by RAW 104. CN almost lost a fight once, but then he did a spinning back kick and put god in his place. ---submitted by RAW 105. Jesus may be "the way, the truth, and the light", but only because CN says so. ---submitted by RAW 106. everytime you tell a bad Chuck Norris joke, Chuck Norris kills a kitten ---submitted by kjax 107. once Chuck Norris and mr. T walked into a bar. the bar exploded. No place in heaven or on earth can hold that much awesome ---submitted by kjax 108. on the last day before the end of the world three people came to God wanting the last place in heaven. God said he would give the spot to the coolest out of the three. The first to come up was arnold schwarzenegger. He said " I have made many movies." God thought this was ok and asked for the next person to step up. this man was Mr. T. he said " i have made many movies and I have killed many people" God thaought this was even better. then God asked for the fourth person to come up and Chuck Norris said " your in my seat." ---submitted by kjax 109. An excerpt form some Jim Rome Show that has not yet occurred - Memo to Al Gore: Chuck Norris caused Global warming, not SUVs, and he'll stop it when HE'S ready to. ---submitted by pz 110. How many Chuck Norris's does it take to change a light bulb? 1. He holds the bulb still and round house kicks the house, thus threading it on to the bulb. ---submitted by Tony 111. Chuck norris eats yellow snow and then he pisses out ice sculptures. ---submitted by Carlos 112. if you take the SAT and put chuck norris down for every answer, you'll pass with an 8,0001 ---submitted by Mrs. Chesney 113. Christopher Columbus didn't accidently discover America, Chuck Norris purposly round-house kicked him there. ---submitted by Sierenroth 114. The truth behind the big bang is that chuck norris roundhouse kicked himself. And from the impact, everything else was created. ---submitted by Sierenroth 115. Many people have often wondered what is heaven. No, it is not a wonderous place where people go when they die...everyone goes to hell. Heaven is actually the only place one can go to escape Chuck Norris's wrath...for now. ---submitted by Sierenroth 116. About 100 years ago they was a being known as bigfoot, the truth is bigfoot was chuck norris before he began to shave. ---submitted by Sierenroth 117. From a Jim Rome Show not yet done: Memo to Michael J. Fox: All of Chuck's cells are stem cells. See if you can borrow a few and do all of the billions of dollars of research you can, but not with my taxpayer dollars! OUT! ---submitted by pz 118. hey pz and len read and learn........... Chuck Norris once visited the virgin islands, when he came back they were just the islands. ---submitted by Cody 119. Chuck's Lone Wolf Ranch is about 40 miles from my place in the GREAT state of Texas. One day, Len, Samuel and Cody, after a few too many brews, decided to stop in on Lone Wolf and see Chuck. Unfortunately, Chuck was eating BBQ cabrito at my place. The three found his place, amazingly, and jumped the fence to look for Chuck. They looked everywhere, NO CHUCK. Being really macho men, they decided on a toughness test in honor of Chuck. They went to the hog pen, one of the foulest I've ever smelled. The one who stayed in the hog pen longest was the toughest man alive. After about two minutes, Samuel came running out coughing and gagging, sat down on a big rock to suck in a bunch of fresh south east Texas air. He waited and waited, then Len crawled out, puked twice and ran over to where Samuel was. They started to get worried about Cody, then the hogs broke through the fence. OUT! ---submitted by pz 120. chuck norris hit your dad...now he's your mom. ---submitted by VALVERDE 121. Somewhere in heaven, Jesus has a bracelet on that reads: WWCND, "What Would Chuck Norris Do". ---submitted by Mike 122. Chuck swam the English Channel in record time (of course), no big deal??? He did it underwater, one breath! ---submitted by pz 123. Chickens choke their Chuck Norris. ---submitted by mike 124. Chuck Norris and Micheal Jackson got into a fight. He roundhouse kicked him so hard he knocked the black out of him. ---submitted by Oliver Klosauf 125. Chuck Norris doesn't worry about what the weather is going to do. The weather worries about what Chuck Norris will do. ---submitted by Will K. |