76. chuck norris doesn't sleep with a gun under his pillow he sleeps with a pillow under his gun ---submitted by caleb

77. After reading the page of submitted Chuck Norris Jokes, Chuck promptly snuck into "PZ's" house DELTA force style, roundhouse kicked him unconscious and smothered him to death with his beard......
Nobody makes BAD.............Chuck Norris jokes!!!!! ---submitted by Len

-our comments: Pz, you gonna take that abuse brotha?

78. For decades, theoretical physicists have pondered the concept of a 2nd Big Bang that would alter the shape and size of our known universe. I am absolutely sure this could happen. Chuck roundkicks Len in the head and releases incredible amounts of compressed methane gas, formed from rotten garbage, unable to escape his thick Neandrathal skull since birth. The force of the released methane would be enough to probably ruffle "THE BEARD", but maybe not. ---submitted by Pz

-our comments: This one had us laughing man!!!

79. Upon realizing the "Beard smothering"  was unaffective in eliminating Pz,  Chuck Norris Roudhouse kicked Pz's Mother back in time to the moment before his conception.  Her head now pounding from the visious kick,  she needed some air. 
She put down the mickey of Lemon Jin and got out of the back seat of the Pinto
to get some air.  When who should arrive, non other than Chuck Norris.   He said one word,  "booya" and Pz's father was old news, thus bringing an end to the tainting of the human gene pool. ---submitted by Len

-our comments: slam!

80. Being a Conservative, CN got not coverage of his great humanitarian act during the peak of the flooding in New Orleans. Chuck got in his helicopter and flew low over the foul waters. He hung from the landing gear with his toes and held "THE BEARD" out for hundreds of tiny somewhat malformed children to grab on to be taken to safety. Most of them were thought to be the seed of Len. He used his beard so both of his hands could be free. His left, to operate the choppers remote control, invented by him. The right to do an upside down spinning backfist if Len got in range. ---submitted by pz

-our comments: I wonder if we need a special section just for the Len vs. pz battle of chuck norris jokes? What do you think?

Len: Pz that was pretty weak, let me help you out a little bit..this is how it should
go..
80 #2. Being covert Delta Force, Chuck Norris got no recognition of his great humanitarian act during the peak flooding in New Orleans. Chuck got in his helicopter and flew low over the condom infested fecal waters. He hung from the landing gear with his toes, controlled the helicopters levers with his penis, floor rudders with his balls, and kept his hands free to stimulate two female passengers,  all while trolling the waters with his beard for any would-be survivors.  When he realized the only surivors left were the bastard spawn of
Len, he decided it would be an even greater humanitarian act to uthanize them.  While all this went on the only time his penis left the controls,  was to slap it across pz's face on the way by.......4 making BAD Cuck Norris Jokes...!!! Booya ---submitted by Len

81. When jack and jill went up the hill... Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked jack makin him fall... then his beard preciede to break jacks crown ---submitted by Diamond

82. Chuck Norris once had an erection, there were no survivors, only thing left is the Grand Canyon! ---submitted by Daniel K. P.

83. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. ---submitted by JL

84. Chuck Norris went to a nite club once.When he saw Micheal Jackson Chuck yelled 'Hey u,beat it!'.Amazed at Chucks statement Jacko replied 'Ooooooooo ur dead!' and tried 2 moonwalk(er) over Chuck.Chuck side stepped & said 'U asked 4 it buddy' & replied wit  a Lift-off Roundhouse kick 2 da face,sending Jacko straight 2 da moon leaving his nose behind.Chuck replied 'He dnt need dat on da moon' ---submitted by JoneC

85. When Chuck Norris went on vacation in Afghanistan,he came across 2 suicide bombers.Chuck asked them 'Hey u,Who send u!',the 1 answered 'The Taliban!'.Then Chuck gave him a Texas boot inda face,dead.'Who send u!',da 2nd 1 said 'Ch...Ch...Chuck Norris!',Chuck gave him a Roundhouse kick dat ripped open his head 'When Chuck says Who Chuck mean Who'. ---submitted by JoneC

86. what does chuck norris and a circus freak have in common.... they both have 3 legs! ---submitted by jon doe
 

87. why did God rest on the seventh day.. so he could male chuck norris on the eighth! ---submitted by jon doe

88. One day Chuck was njoying a meal at Mcdonalds wen the Queen of England came up 2 him & asked 'Xcuse me can u spare me sum change 4 a fonecall?'.Then Chuck asked her 'Do u knw wat happind 2: da Nazis?' she said yes,'& Saddam Husein?' she said yes '& da Dinasaurs?' she said yes.Then Chuck ask 'So if I didnt spare any of them,wat makes u think I'll spare u sum change?,get da f*** outa my face!' ---submitted by JoneC

89.  I really feel sorry for all who have lost, and that's everyone, in a game of jacks, dominoes, horse or a PKA karate match and have died not knowing the truth! I know the truth and here it is.

The phenomenon we all know as Chuck Norris is not human. He is an immortal chameleon android. He was created by God shotly after the creation of the universe as a helper to the pitiful human race - to give them someone to respect, to strive to be like, to give inspiration to the downtrodden and the successful alike. He has been known by many names over the millenia. He was Aristotle, he was Gallileo, he was Plato, Alexander the Great, Joseph ( of Mary and Joseph),  David (of David and Goliath) Daniel (who the lions could not eat). He was an unnamed passerby who tore down the wall at Jericho when the trumpet plan was about to fail. He was Moses, Braveheart, and Bat Masterson. Simultaneously he was Ben Hogan, Jesse Owens, Roger Bannister and Jim Thorpe. He was Winston Churchill. Centuries from now, when the world takes a look back at itself, a name that will never be associated with this phenomenon is Len,or pz. ---submitted by pz

Our Comments: That was a beautiful piece of artwork pz. That should go right on Chuck Norris' webpage!

90. I was about to get in trouble for looking at non government websites on government computers, when I explained to my boss that since chuck norris is a force of nature, i was really doing meteorlogical training, my boss agreed, and thanked me for the reference that could save the lives of thousands of people one day.  ---submitted by Seabee890

91. Chuck norris made a rock that even he couldn't lift then he lifted it just to show who the fuck chuck norris is. ---submitted by Samuel

92. When chuck norris farts an angel gets his wings ---submitted by Samuel

93. When chuck norris has sex he is always on top because chuck norrise doesn't fuck up. ---submitted by Samuel

94. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. ---submitted by Samuel

95. Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime. ---submitted by Samuel

96. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. ---submitted by Samuel

97. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. ---submitted by Samuel

98.  If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef. ---submitted by Samuel

99. Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." ---submitted by Samuel

And Pz they are the worst chuck norris jokes i have ever heard. ---submitted by Samuel

100. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this. ---submitted by Samuel