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Home arrow Funny Stuff arrow Jokes arrow Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris Jokes E-mail
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Chuck Norris Jokes
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More of your Chuck Norris Jokes....


251. Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned. ---submitted by Anon

252. For every person Mother Nature kills, Chuck Norris kills five. ---submitted by Anon

253. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5. ---submitted by Anon

254. Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius. ---submitted by Anon

255. Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can. ---submitted by Anon

256. Chuck Norris likes his fights like he likes his women, quick and easy. ---submitted by Ethan

257. Chuck got rid of all the rats in New York City. He went into the sewer system and farted twice. All rats within 100 yards died instantly. The rest fled to Jersey as fast as they could get there. ---submitted by pz

258. Chuck went running one time and broke the speed of sound, so he stopped and put it back together, good as new! ---submitted by pz

259. Chuck Norris doesn't work out on Total Gym. It works out on him, and is getting in to shape FAST!! ---submitted by Jacob

260. Chuck Norris ’t know what he looks like because when he looks in the mirror his reflection ducks in fear. ---submitted by Alan

261. The only person that ever beat chuck Norris was Bruce Lee and when Chuck Norris gave blood Bruce drank it soon after beating him Bruce got a blood clot in his heart ---submitted by Zaren

262. Chuck Norris can spread aids without having it. ---submitted by Shawn

263. Chuck Norris is the reason the chicken crossed the road. ---submitted by Robert

264. Chuck Norris lets Great white sharks gnaw on his crotch just for the shear enjoyment of it. --- submitted by Big Bam

265. It is a little known fact that the CN Tower is actually a 1/18 scale replica of Chuck Norris’ penis. --- submitted by Jay

266. Its a common misconception that Moses was the one who made all those miracles to free the Jews from Egypt. Little do people know that "Moses" is a common handwritten typo for "Chuck Norris". --- submitted by Mikey

267. "What Would Chuck Norris Do?" bracelets were never banned, Chuck Norris pulled them all off the shelves himself. Only Chuck Norris can do what Chuck Norris does silly goose. --- submitted by Mikey

268. Chuck Norris round house kicked the black out of Micheal jackson, but unfortunatly traumatized MJ so bad he started molesting little kids. --- submitted by Cody

269. Chuck Norris knows the wrong way to eat a Reeses --- submitted by George

270. Chuck norris went to Pluto and back, realizing this could ruin Nasa, they said it wasn’t a planet anymore. --- submitted by Cody

271. Costume makers said they were going to make a hung like Chuck Norris costume, but because of the massive amount of fabric needed they aborted the plan. --- submitted by Cody

272. Pluto is no longer a planet because Chuck Norris beat the shi* out of it. --- submitted by Belal

273. In 1982 I filled up my gas tank with Chuck Norris' piss, I'll let you know when my car shuts off. --- submitted by Belal

274. What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a pair of boots... a round house kick to the face NEVER cross Chuck Norris --- submitted by blobman

275. In 1972, Pete Rozelle banned Chuck Norris from ever playing in the NFL again. Chuck kicked a field goal at Lambeau Field in Green Bay. The problem with it was he was playing for the NY Giants against the Bears at Soldier Field! --- submitted by pz


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